Kyoka: How about in text message(s)?

Ko: I know that it might be different in certain contexts, like professional or with friends or something like this. But especially with texting, it’s hard to (1)get across emotion, right ? So it’s really convenient now that we have emojis and stamps and this kind of thingsthing] that we can [use .

Tak: Yeah, (2)same here. I don’t think I ever close a text with a period or like a “maru.” I always have an (3) exclamation . I usually have two exclamation marks. Or like an emoji.

Summer: That’s super interesting, because I always end with a period . I’m not like a(n) emoji user. But I often experience that people misinterpret what I said. So I should probably use more emojis in my conversations with people. I write a lot of emails than texts. Emails are totally different , too. You have to (4)proofread in English(emails). You have to be friendly but professional at the same time . It’s a really interesting balance . Some people you can be a little bit more friendly, some people a little bit less . I tend to go in the “(5) Best regards , first name, last name,” like more proper email directi?(6) just in case . I definitely think like in an English-speaking context , people are really, really casual, even in their emails these days.

Kyoka: I wanna say this, it’s really hard to write an English business letter, for me. Because Japanese, you have all these words that pretty much (7)sums up all of your emotions for you, like, “Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.” “Otsukaresama desu.” (8)When it comes to English, how am I going to say all this in English? And then in general , again Ko said, it’s really hard to express emotional-wise. But when it comes to my friends and stuff , when I’m hyper, (9)all caps. Um, English, it’s normal to write, like, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 (10)bubbles at a time . But in Japanese, if you do that, they get annoyed. But if that one bubble’s too long, then they can’t read it. I first write it and then I imagine how they’re gonna see it. And then I start deleting sentences. And then I separate two small messages that are somewhat long, and I (11) send it over , and wait until they reply , and then I answer, for that.

Summer: What kind of person do you feel is a good person or a (1) charming person?

Kyoka: (People) That couldcan] be open and honest [with their feelings are very charming . And to be able to just naturally do something because they naturally just want to , is something really difficult, in both , a foreign community, both in a Japanese community, both in any community in general .

Summer: I would say that, if I (2)generalize into one sentence what I think a good person or a truly popular person, or someone that is actually liked by everybody, and so , actually everybody that they meet feels good when they, after talking to them. I think that’s the main thing ? it feels good to be around them. They usually have a good sense of humor. They’re (3)forgiv?if their friends make mistakes, say, “That’s OK, it’s not a (4)big deal .”

I think also good listeners, probably. Everybody wants to be heard, I think. We all probably need a (5)therapist. We all have like, especially now that it’s a pandemic, I think everybody has a lot of inner (6)turmoil. And then when you listen to the person, you don’t judge them or (7) force your views on them. “Oh, you shouldn’t do that,” or “I don’t agree with you there.” You can just listen and say, “ Well , OK, you feel that way. I understand. That’s cool.” And so , their (8)compassion is also really important, I think. So I think those are all the sort of different (9)traits of someone who it feels good to be around .

Ko: I definitely agree that someone who’s (10)nonjudgmental and keep(s) an open mind. Like Summer said, someone who’s a good listener is probably someone that you can really talk to and feel like you can be open with , I think is really important. But I just wanted to kind of mention something, just about, or ( rather ) (11)intercultural communication in Japan. And there are people who want to learn English, and they think that by using (12) slang or, it sounds cool, or it sounds really friendly, or that it’s OK to be super open when they speak English, but it kind of , or (13)rubs off the wrong way.

There are some people who are like, even at my job they wanna talk with me in English, and then they start (14)swearing or something, I’m like ? “Wow, you should not be saying that here!” It’s, just seems really rude, but they think that it’s normal. So I think like knowing this kind of cultural (15)boundaries, especially in intercultural communication , can determine how likable you are, I guess. So it’s always good to be polite, I think. And being friendly is nice, but knowing how friendly or (16)reading the room, ha-ha, this kind of thing.

Summer: Is there anything that you personally are (17)working towards to (18) make yourself into a more attractive person, either with people you’ve just met or people that you want to get to know better?

Tak: I used to (19)be in sales when I was in Canada. So I really studied about how to talk to people to (20)try and make them like me so that they’ll buy whatever I’m selling, ha-ha, right ? There’s like specific things that you can do to get people to like you. You have to (21)genuinely like the other person.

One thing is I would (22) match the speed of the speaker of the other person. Like, so some people are really slow speakers, right ? I wouldn’t do it in a s?really unnatural way ? but I would like try and match the speed of the conversation to what the other person is comfortable doing. I would try to use everyone’s, the, the other person’s name a lot. That’s another specific thing that I do ? it’s the sweetest sound to the person’s ears, is their own name, is what they say. If they’re losing interest in what you’re talking about, say their name, and they’re like, “Oh, what?” And then you (23) bring their attention back. And when you’re listening to them talk, too, I would , like, (24) partially repeat what they would say.

Ko: I’m generally a pretty (25)curious person anyways, so I like to , if I meet someone new, I ask them questions. And if there is (a) topic that they like or that (26)they’re passionate about, maybe I don’t know a lot about, I ask questions. Uh, and then the conversation just kind of keeps going. And it’s not like I’m pretending to be (27)engaged. I’m usually always really engaged and I really like learning about people and their stories and this kind of thing. So I really like, I think I genuinely like to get to know that person.

Summer: I’m really trying to be a better listener. Um, my family is very (28)chatty, so I grew up with people sort of constantly ? the (29) flow of the conversation would be like: “Me, me, me.” “ No ! Me, me, me.” “Oh, you? Well , me, me, me.” “Oh, you? Well , me, me, me.” It sounds like a constant “me” battle. So , um, one thing that I often, I would like to improve upon is, I tend to offer advice when people talk about their troubles, or whatever. But I think that a lot of the times, people just want you to listen, um, and just be there for them. I think advice can (30)go down the judgment road sometimes. It can (31)put pressure on the person. And I think I just wanna be better at listening and not necessarily offering advice .